Whether to write your vows or not is a question that most couples ask themselves while planning their wedding. It can be a tough choice among the countless other decisions that you and your partner have to make. If you’re leaning toward writing your vows, you may be thinking, “How do I capture years of love, inside jokes, shared struggles, and hopes for the future—all in a few short minutes?”
The truth is, vows don’t have to be perfect. They have to be yours.
Whether you’re the poetic type or you’d rather keep things light and funny, this post will walk you through writing vows that are meaningful, personal, and unforgettable.
Start Writing Early
The best vows don’t come from a last-minute writing session the night before the wedding. They grow out of little moments: the way your partner makes coffee, how they say your name, or that time they stood by you when things were hard.
Start jotting down thoughts 6–12 months before the wedding (if possible). Create a vow journal or a folder in your notes app where you can collect moments, quotes, and ideas as they come to you. Let your thoughts simmer, and you’ll be amazed at what comes out when it’s time to write.
Choose A Vow Style That Fits You
There’s no one “right” way to write vows. The key is choosing a tone and structure that fits your relationship. Here are three styles to consider:
💍 Classic & Romantic
For timeless, heartfelt vows that wouldn’t feel out of place in a movie.
Here’s an example:
“From the moment I met you, I knew my life was about to change. I love you for your kindness, your strength, and your unwavering belief in us. I promise always to be your safe place and your biggest fan.”
🎉 Modern & Fun
Perfect for couples who love to laugh and want their vows to reflect their real-life experiences.
Here’s an example:
“I love you even when you leave socks everywhere, and especially when you make up songs about our dog. I vow always to order two sides of fries because I know you’ll steal mine.”
📝 Poetic
Ideal for sentimental couples who feel deeply and want to express their emotions beautifully.
Here’s an example:
“You are the calm in my storm, the light in every shadow. I vow to walk with you, hand in hand, through every chapter of our story.”
Speak To Your Partner-Not The Crowd
It’s easy to fall into “performance mode” when writing vows. But this moment isn’t for your guests—it’s for the person standing in front of you. Ask yourself:
What do I want them to feel when I say this?
What’s something only they will truly understand?
Include private references, shared memories, or little quirks that make your relationship yours.
Keep Your Promises Real
Yes, forever love is beautiful. But your partner also wants to hear how you’ll show up for them in everyday life.
Instead of only saying, “I promise to love you always,” try adding:
“I promise to make you coffee just the way you like it.”
“I promise to listen first, fix second.”
“I promise to laugh at your dad jokes… most of the time.”
These details matter.
Practice Out Loud
Writing your vows and reading them out loud are two very different parts of creating your vows. Create the time to read your vows aloud several times before the big day. Listen for anything that feels too forced or wordy. If it makes you tear up when you say it, keep it. If it doesn’t feel right or disconnected, remove it.
You don’t need to memorize them word for word. Bring a printed card or a small vow booklet. It’s a keepsake you’ll cherish forever.
Still Feeling Like You Need More Help?
We’ve put together a FREE Vow Writing Guide with templates, outlines, and inspiring examples to make writing your vows easier (and more fun).
Whether writing comes naturally to you or you’re overwhelmed when it comes to writing, this guide will help you write vows that feel heartfelt and express your truethoughts and feelings.
